Coronavirus - Community updates from the Revd Neil Short No 47 Dated 21.10.2020

ST MICHAEL’S COMMUNITY UPDATE

No 47: 21.10.20

INTRODUCTION

• If you have a friend or neighbour who would like to receive this, please forward their details.
• I also invite you to send in items, especially humorous ones!
• For all correspondence please use office@stmbsands.org

SPECIAL CHURCH SERVICES

Service of Remembering and Thanking

-Each year we provide an opportunity for members of the community to remember their loved ones.
- We will do this on Wednesday 28^th October at 10.30am, Sunday 1^st of November at 10.30am, and Sunday 1^st October at 2.00pm.
-If you would like the name of a loved one read out please let Nerys in the office know. All names submitted last year will automatically be included again this year.

Remembrance Sunday Services
-This is always a moving service.
-This year we will be having 2 services on Remembrance Sunday 8^th November
-The first will be in Church at 10.30am and will last approximately 45 minutes
-The second will be outside in the Church Car Park, it will start at 10.55 and last approximately 15 minutes. This will go ahead whatever the weather!!

If you have any questions please do contact Nerys in the church office 0151 924 0561, or email office@stmbsands.org

HARVEST

A really big thank you to everyone who made our Harvest Thanksgiving Service so special. We are pleased to announce that along with all the fruit, veg and tins we were able to send £907.46 to the Walton Salvation Army for their ongoing work with families at this difficult time.

PUNS FOR "EDUCATED  MINDS" Submitted by Anita

1. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: Keep off the Grass.
3. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
6. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
7.  If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
8. A vulture boards an aeroplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
9. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.
11. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I’ve lost my electron". The other says "Are you sure ?" The first replies, "Yes, I’m positive".
12. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

QUIZ- Submitted by Michael Stone

1. The year 1AD occurred in the reign of which Roman Emperor?

2. Who was US President when Churchill was presented with his citizenship of the United States?

3. Which Regiment in the Brigade of Guards does not wear a plume on its bearskin?

4. Which was the first music hall to be opened in Paris?

5. Who wrote about an elephant in the book 'The story of Babar'?

6. Which house in London had an address once popularly known as No.1, London?

7. In which card game can points be scored with a Carte Blanche, a Marriage, or a sequence?

8. Which was the Beatles first No 1 in America?

9. How is the letter E conveyed in Morse Code?

10. If men's shoes are size 9 in the UK, what is the equivalent continental size?

11. What racing odds are described in rhyming slang as a 'Burlington Bertie'?

12. An odalisque is a female what?

13. Who is the only English footballer to have scored in three World Cup tournaments?

14. The Roman Province of Cappadocia is in which modern day country?

15. Of which of his generals did Napoleon ask....yes, but is he lucky..?

16. Ann Widdecombe first stood for Parliament in 1977 in which northern constituency?

17. Timbrology is the old and original name for which indoor pastime?

18. In which country is 'The North Shore Times Advertiser' newspaper?

19. In Edwardian polite society, jellies, blancmanges and ice puddings should be eaten with which item of cutlery?

20. In 19834, The London Zoo opened in Regents Park. The first animals were transferred from which other London Zoo.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY- Is your glass half full or half empty?

Some people live by Murphy’s Law without even knowing it. ‘Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you expect, and if anything can go wrong, it will- at the worst possible moment.’

But the person of faith lives by a different law. God’s law. And God’s law works on a totally different principle. For example, Romans 8v28 says, ‘All things work for good for those who know and love the Lord.’

Living by faith takes effort. It means setting your face towards God and believing he can work in you and through you in whatever you are facing. God never promised that the life of faith would be easy, but he did promise to always be with you. Ultimately that makes a whole lot of difference. So, fill your glass up with faith in God.

QUIZ ANSWERS

1. Augustus 2. Kennedy 3. Grenadiers 4. Folies Bergere 5. Jean de Brunhoff

6. Aspley House 7. Bezique 8. I wanna hold your hand 9. single dot 10. 43

11. 100-30 12. Slave 13. David Beckham 14. Turkey 15. Ney 16. Burnley

17. Stamp collecting 18. New Zealand 19. Fork 20. Tower of London

TALKS

For those who missed our  Sunday talks you will find them here:

Sunday October 11^th:  https://youtu.be/1w4-8-WXDHI

  and
Sunday October 18^th https://youtu.be/TNv6DzI2tKQ and https://youtu.be/AgBRav2Lhe8

If you are new to accessing YouTube clips and need some help, just give Margaret or I a ring on 0151 378 0332 and we will help.

ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE

At this rate on October 31^st kids will be knocking on doors and saying “Track and Trace”

Together we will get through this.
Revd Neil Short

21.10.20